Two Eyes, Two Ears, Nine Eyes, None
by Charm
Summary: Believe it or not, my Naruto X Call of Cthulhu crossover. Ongaku Kirei, Mitarashi Anko no tensai gakusei desu... at your service. Enjoy... or not, of course.
1. Chapter 1

These are the things that are never complete, that have never been full since the Rains began.

Jacala's Mouth, and the Glut of the Kite,

And the Hands of the Ape, and the Eyes of Man.

--Rudyard Kipling, _Red Dog._

* * *

"Who are you?"

The kunoichi had a kunai to my throat. I'd never encountered anything like this before. How could she overpower me so easily? I was an experienced kunoichi myself, a Shinobi of the village trained in defensive technique and tactics. She was so fast, so precise. The question just slipped out of my mouth.

I think it gave her pause. Maybe it reminded her that I was a person, too. Not just a Shinobi. "I don't know. Why don't you tell me?" Her voice was... low. Her tongue flickered over her lips, slipping around her words. An accent I didn't know, either.

How could I? Her Chakra was little more than a whisper, even to my ears, but I could feel it there. Somehow its song was masked. Not only had she surprised me in my most vigilant time, but she worked jutsu I'd never seen with seals I didn't recognise. I swear she worked a few without any seals at all...

"You're an enemy. Aren't you?" The question caught both of us by surprise. She'd attacked me on guard. Diplomatically, that was a declaration of war against Konoha. But the shadows over her face, moving with her and so deep that they had to be artificial, prevented me from seeing her hitaite to determine which village she was from.

"I'm not your enemy. Necessarily. But I fought you and won. Why are we having this conversation?"

Good question. My mind raced. No time to wonder about diplomacy, I had to survive to tell Konoha that we were being attacked. "Not sure about that myself. Can't really breathe. Can you ease up on the pressure, please?"

A low chuckle. Warm. Real amusement. That was progress, and the kunai disappeared into a sheath at her thigh. A sheath, not the usual pouch, I noticed. Was there something special about her weapons? What happened if she lost it, and the two it rode beside? She took a step back, released me from the choke hold and shook out her hair. Odd to keep it flying so free as a Shinobi, especially if she was planning trouble.

"I'll make you a deal. I'll tell you who I am if you don't raise the alarm until we finish talking," she offered. "Try to cheat me, and you'll die." Not 'I'll kill you.' Just 'You'll die.' She was on a whole different level to me.

Not much of a choice. "Deal. Tell me your name."

She smiled a little, beneath the veil of shadow, and shook her head. Her hair was thick, just past chin-length, and purple. I was assembling what profile I could already, training taking over while I tried to improvise some way to survive. "I don't think so. I've heard about Konoha's Namae Shibari no Jutsu. Why don't you tell me _your _name first?"

Damn. "At least show me your hitaite. How did you beat me so quickly? I barely knew you were there before I was pinned. And why didn't you just kill me?"

Another little smile. I got the feeling that she wanted to tap me on the nose like a puppy. "One question at a time. I beat you because I am stronger than you." I stiffened, and she noticed. "Don't be ashamed, I'm stronger than most. I _earnt_ it. My jutsu aren't what most Shinobi are used to facing, and my doujutsu..." The words petered out, as if she'd noticed my eagerness and realised she was about to give away too much. "That's really all I want to tell you about my abilities, I think. I've also observed you on your watches and worked out your schedule, because my tactics work best against yours in particular. I was prepared, you weren't, and I won. I didn't expect you to ask such a strange question, and it stayed my hand. I'm not really sure why, but I don't like killing if I don't need to." Her tongue flickered out again, passing over blood-red lips. "Pain, now... that's another story."

"But... you haven't told me anything. I meant-"

"I'm you're enemy," she reminded me, her voice sharp. "I don't give information that could potentially hurt my operations."

"So you're on a mission?" I pounced on that word 'operations.' "For a village? Covert action against Konoha?"

"I didn't say that. You shouldn't jump to conclusions so quickly, its unseemly in one so young." She sighed. "I'm getting bored quickly. I thought you'd ask more interesting questions. You can't stop this anyway, so there's no need for you to die tonight. Maybe I'll see you again." She turned to the narrow observation window she had entered the guard hut through, black cloak emblazoned with red clouds swirling dramatically, and prepared to leap away.

"Wait!" I blurted. "Don't leave yet!" Surprised, she turned back to me. What was this weird kinship I felt with this woman? The top half of her face was shadowed, so I didn't even know what she looked like. "Show me your face. Let me... let me see who I have to chase." I think my face was red. I've never been so completely beaten before.

She was silent for a moment. "All right. _Kai!"_ No seals that I saw, but the darkness blew away as if chased by a strong wind.

Revealing the hitaite across her eyes like a blindfold.

A Konoha hitaite. I'd half-expected a Mist-nin, but this?

"Wha... what is this?" My voice had dropped to a whisper. "Why are you here? Aren't you one of us?"

"One of who?" Her voice was lazy. "What were you expecting?"

I didn't answer. I didn't even notice what else she was wearing. All I saw was that thick purple hair framing her face, and the hitaite covering her eyes, just above the high collar of her cloak. "You're hypnotic," I blurted.

"I know," she shrugged. "It runs in the family. I do have some more things to do tonight, so if you'll excuse me..." She turned away again, but swung back as I dipped a hand to my shuriken pouch, and in a blur of movement my hand was knocked away by a shuriken of her own.

It took me a moment to realise my fingers were bleeding. The scene was so surreal that pain hadn't sunk in yet. I glanced behind me when there was no noise from the weapon striking the wall, but saw no sign of a shuriken. Where had it come from, anyway? There was no pouch on her thigh, no sheathes for shuriken, and I hadn't seen her grab anything from a pocket...

"You were hoping this was an affectation?" she asked calmly, pointing to her makeshift blindfold. "You were hoping I couldn't see you? Bad luck. I'm leaving now. Chase me hard, little kunoichi. An idol will make you stronger. One day you might even become as strong as me."

"What are you doing in Konoha?" I blurted. My mouth is clumsy, I've noticed. Things just keep coming out that no one expects, least of all myself. My face was truly burning now. Underestimating a Shinobi who had already demonstrated complete superiority over me? My sensei would have dismissed me without a thought.

This time she didn't turn back to face me, but that same smile rang in her voice. "What am I doing here? It's really very simple. See the lights out there?"

"Vaguely." The sinking feeling that I had gotten myself in way over my head suddenly came back with a vengeance. The lights were on the wall, and they were _moving _up and over

"They're a renegade Shinobi army with only one goal. You should probably go help fight them off." Shouts drifted through the window, and my divination pulled my attention every which way. Chakra was _screaming _out there, in voices I had never heard before. That amused voice cut through the clamour, and I clung to it. "My job was to distract the security guard so that she couldn't raise the general alarm, but you're too interesting to die so pointlessly. Ja, mata ne." Without taking a step, it seemed, she blurred into motion and disappeared.

I sighed heavily, my mind completely shut down. Konoha under attack. The screams and war cries were completely drowned out by the song of the Chakra flowing all around. Konoha under attack. My fault. Smoke in the air. Chakra singing so loudly it hurt my ears. Konoha under attack.

As I stood there in paralysed confusion, Konoha village began to burn.


	2. Two

It took about eighteen hours to repel the army. There was surprisingly little actual damage; apparently the invaders had ignored civilian lives and property, focusing on Konoha's Jounin elite response force. There were far more casualties on the invaders side, perhaps ten times as many, but the sheer number of Tajuu Kage Bunshin users made it impossible to collate a concrete figure. Any nearby enemy Shinobi also made certain to turn fire jutsu on fallen bodies, immolating the possibility of identification or body count. At midday, as if in response to an unseen signal, every cloak-wearing Shinobi dismissed their legions of identical shadow warriors. Konoha's Shinobi, myself included, immediately took up defensive positions, but when the smoke cleared there was no sign of the invaders other than Konoha's injured.

They had been injured because of me. Everyone knew that I had been on guard duty, and that even if I wasn't, I was always the first one to know about hostile intentions. But I had been so surprised at being overwhelmed in the guard hut that I didn't raise the alarm until it was far too late. The only blessing was that everyone was more surprised than angry. Even so, I knew it wouldn't be long until I was called before the Hokage.

The dreaded summons didn't come for a few days. An indication of my importance, I suppose; I was _not_ the focus of the Hokage's attention. Even the Genin who brought me the message looked tired; the students had been pressed into repairwork on a few buildings that had been damaged. Bringing a summons to the one who had failed the entire village was a slander on him, I guess; he certainly looked as if I turned his stomach. I didn't have the heart to remind him he should show respect to his superiors, just nodded and trudged off to the Fifth's office.

"Gondaime-sama?" I called, more than a little nervous. The door was ajar, and I cracked it open a little when I didn't receive an answer. There was no Shinobi inside, that was for sure— but there _was _suddenly a trill of Chakra behind me. Minor jutsu, probably Henge. I turned to see the face of the Fifth's attendant, the medical Jounin Shizune blinking at me politely.

"Can I help you?" There were black bags beneath her eyes; obviously she hadn't stopped working since the day. She was a strong Shinobi, and the medical teams had all been pressed into urgent service last night. Both her and Shizune, of course... because this wasn't the attendant. The deep, powerfully resonant hum of Chakra beneath her words announced one far greater than Shizune.

"Gondaime-sama." I bowed a little. Tsunade was the epitome of a kunoichi, and she deserved respect. "You sent for me?"

She released the jutsu with a puff of smoke. "Excuse me. Sorry about that, I thought you were Hyuuga Hiashi come to argue with me again. You wouldn't believe how troublesome that family can be, especially that one. Traditionalism should only go so far." She walked past me into her office, and slumped down on her padded chair with a yawn. "Kirei-san, I'm not going to waste your time, because you'll have a lot of preparation to do." Preparation? I was being sent on a mission? "The long and the short is that you allowed an unknown force of twenty to twenty-five Shinobi with strength approximately equivalent to this entire village to invade without giving us the slightest warning. Do you have a reasonable explanation for that?"

I stared at my sandals. Tsunade was renowned for her bluntness, but she was right. I supposed. What could I say? "No, I don't. I was attacked in the guard house by a Shinobi from the same organization with Chakra completely silent to my ears."

She paused. "I thought you could hear any jutsu being performed. Even the prescence of Chakra?"

"I can. I didn't hear a thing." Of course she was frowning. It wasn't as if it hadn't been bugging me for days, and I was the one that had to _live _with it.

"And she defeated you quickly enough to prevent you sounding the alarm?" She didn't sound convinced.

"That's correct, Gondaime-sama." I wrestled with myself, but honesty was honesty. Maybe if I'd stopped there, the events of the next few months wouldn't have taken place. "But... afterwards, we spoke. She released me, and we spoke together for a few minutes before the attack."

Tsunade let out a long sigh, and leant back in her chair again. "Kirei-san, why can't you learn to keep your mouth shut? I could have gotten you off with extenuating circumstances. I know just how powerful you are, and how useful your bloodline is to the village. Your family is one of the oldest, it's important that you be able to take A- and S-Rank missions. But if you had the opportunity, you should have sounded the alarm."

"I know. I'm... sorry." Did I sound as stupid as I felt? I had a feeling I did.

"I bet you are. I know you love the village. But my responsibility is clear." She let out one last long sigh. "Get out of my office. You are hereby demoted to Chuunin. You may take the Jounin exam in one and a half months time, but until that time you will be prohibited from carrying out any missions whatsoever. You are also forbidden to leave the village until further notice. "

I didn't take my eyes off my sandals, other than to track the progress of a tiny spider between my feet. "Yes, Hokage-sama. Thank you for your time." I didn't look up again until I was outside the building, under the reviving sunlight. I had locked myself inside my house in shame for the past couple of days, but I had forgotten how good just that warmth could feel. You don't notice it until you've been cold in summer. I had nothing to do then, I supposed. For the first time in a long time, I had the day to myself, with no Jounin meetings, missions, training or guard duty. All I had to do was prepare for the Jounin exam, and it wasn't as if I hadn't passed that before on my first try.

My feet carried me where I knew they would. Up to the Hokage monument, overlooking the village. The air was warm, and it buoyed me up. I didn't feel any loss from my demotion, just a kind of vague disappointment. But as Tsunade said, I _was_ valuable to the village. It wasn't as if I was a weak Shinobi, and my family's position...

I hadn't come up here since I was a new Chuunin. Which is what I was now, I guess.

I suppose after pulling you in this far, I should introduce myself. Ongaku Kirei, former special Jounin of Konoha, at your service. Go ahead, laugh at the name. My parents must have been on drugs. It was hell going through the academy with a name like 'beautiful music,' but at least I wasn't as unlucky as the Bukkake clan successor, Dai. Small blessings. Most of my family was killed just before the massacre of the Uchiha clan about decade ago; our bloodline could have given some warning and raised an alarm, I guess. At that point, maybe the Third would have been strong enough to stop Uchiha Itachi, at least with some prior notice, so we were erased. I have as much reason to hate Itachi as anyone else but my priorities have been different since then. Its unforgivable of course, but my family's creed has never been revenge. Time's healed most of those wounds. Don't get me wrong, I would attack Itachi on sight, but what are the chances of seeing him just strolling around Konoha?

The air was full of music, especially concentrated towards the Academy. While my conscious mind drifted, part of me was identifying the notes, picking up the subtle but distinctive overtones that marked Shinobi I knew, matching them to faces... there was even the odd Jounin-level technique, even though at this point, of course, there wasn't much high-level training going on, what with most Jounin being out of the village on missions. As I should have been.

I could have passed the rest of the afternoon up on the Hokage monument, with the legacy of the village's previous leaders humming tantalisingly beneath me, just below the threshold of hearing. But I had responsibilities; I sat for perhaps half an hour before heaving back to my feet with a sigh. My partner would need to know about this, if she didn't already.

I closed my eyes and turned my focus in on itself. The trick here was to imagine it in terms of a picture, to visualize the knife edge of balance you needed, white light precariously swaying over black abyss. Concentrate and align it perfectly, then turn it outwards, and see what you can hear. Look for the one note you seek amongst the symphony of the village, and _find_ it.

My eyes opened, and I smiled a little. "There you are, Anko-sensei. Wait for me. I'll be there in a moment."

Mitarashi Anko was a superb Shinobi. She had been my sensei back I was a Genin, through my idol and mentor as a Chuunin, and when we both attained the rank of Special Jounin, we became friends. She complemented me well; I tend to be too gentle, while Anko's occasional brutality and bloodlust is as legendary as her customary shameless outfits, so we balance each other out that way. Talk about opposites attracting.

Today, though, I had to catch my breath on seeing her. The purple hair framing her face, and the Konoha hitaite... surely...

I would have laughed, if I had anything to laugh about. My mysterious attacker resembled my sensei in more than one way, but the differences were distinct. Anko's face was much fuller, their hair was different lengths, their manners were incomparable, laughably so... the idea of Anko acting against Konoha was ludicrous in any case, she was the most patriotic of Shinobi.

"Kirei-chaaan!" Anko teased, spinning around with a whirl of her coat to reveal that she had two kunai ready in her hands. "You were so loud today! You haven't slept since the excitement the other day, have you?" Of course she had led the rapid response force. Next to Tsunade herself, she was one of the strongest kunoichi in the village.

"I notice that didn't make you cover up," I returned, glancing down at what she wore; weave over mesh, and very little else. Admittedly she has the figure to pull it off, and it wasn't _exactly _indecent...

"You're just jealous." I tried not to wince at the truth in that statement, and her grin widened. "Didn't you get to play at all the other night?" It was an innocent comment, but the wound was too recent, and it stole what little humour I had.

" It was just play to you, maybe," I shrugged. Anko must have picked up on my mood, dropping her customary rough jokes.

"I heard about your demotion. Don't worry, it's only temporary. You're a strong kunoichi." A raised eyebrow. "At least, I certainly _hope_ it's temporary! I could never stand the shame if one of my students failed an exam. It's never happened, you know. Even Kakashi-kun's students failed, but mine..." She trailed off with a shrug and a grin. It was her favourite boast, and one that always filled me with a self-conscious kind of pride. I was the only one of my three-man team to take the Jounin exam, with one dead early on and one leaving the life of the Shinobi.

"I know, that part's no big deal. But..."

Sensei knew my shame, of course. "Kirei, no one can be perfect all the time. Taihen da, kore de yo. Everyone slips up."

"We are _Shinobi. _We can't afford to slip up. Not even once. Especially not like that." This was going to be a losing battle. Anko's the woman she is because of what she's been through. Sure enough, her lips tightened almost imperceptibly. Her Chakra, a melodious kind of pulsing ring with a dark counterpoint that I had long ago learnt to not ask her about, began to resonate more powerfully, indicating her stirring emotions. When she spoke, though, her voice was tightly controlled, even clipped.

"Kirei, you were overwhelmed. I answer directly to Tsunade and have access to more classified information than almost anyone else in the village, including the full database of the Bingo Book. She contacted me immediately after you gave your description." An ironic grin tugged at the corner of her mouth. "I'm flattered that it was so close to being me. Just to clear it up, though, I have no siblings or illegitimate children, my parents are dead and my sensei sees out his days playing with his grandchildren. Hair colour and physical desciptions are fairly unreliable of course, but I think we have identified the culprit." Now a shadow crossed her face, even happy-go-lucky Anko turning grim. "And the implications of her joining Akatsuki are dire, to say the least. Tsunade almost reconsidered her decision when she realised how overmatched you were. I certainly don't blame you; I would have lost just as quickly."

I waited for her to go on. When nothing else was forthcoming, I prompted her. "Does this mysterious Kage have a name?" In response, she turned her head as if ashamed of herself, deliberately breaking my gaze. "Sensei? Nani ga?" Still no reply, and that sinking feeling was coming back to me with a vengeance. "Oh, no. You can't tell me, can you? Because I'm just a Chuunin now. It's classified information, isn't it?"

"Hunter-nins have been dispatched," Anko said at last, almost inaudibly. "I decided not to go with them. You'll need me to train for the exam. Once you pass, you can deal with this yourself."

What? "You just said—"

"They'll die," Anko confirmed grimly. "They don't understand what they're hunting. She will hunt them instead, and when she's done playing, they'll die. If I went too, I would die beside them. You are the only one who can defeat her."

I laughed out loud at that. "I was dominated. Completely defeated. Don't try and spare my feelings. I never want to see her again." A twinge in my chest. I _did _want to see her. A call I didn't understand.

"Your bloodline is the key..." Anko shook her head violently. "We have to end this conversation! I've said too much already. All I can tell you is that she didn't concern Konoha until she linked up with Akatsuki."

"Akatsu—?"

"_Urusai!" _she snapped. Suddenly we were teacher and student again. "Kirei-chan, forget that name until you are a Jounin again. Everyone will know who told you. You'll be told soon anyway." She sighed some of the tension away, composing herself. "But I do have news for you." Anko reached into one of her voluminous pockets and retrieved a scroll. "You haven't been out of the village for a while, and I have a few B- and A- rank missions coming up that I can substitute you into. Have a look at these."

I leafed through the scroll disinterestedly. B-rank, and two A's. Wastes of time. My talents had previously been reserved for S-rank missions, usually alongside Anko herself...

"Hey." I looked up. Anko wore the most tender look I had ever seen on her usually harsh face. "Don't take it too hard. I'm letting you choose a mission, for a start. Think of this as extra training time. You've been wanting to master your bloodline anyway, and now you have safe-time to do that in."

I took a deep breath and let it out before I replied. "You're right. Yeah, you're right. Can I look these over at home? I want to talk to Mamet about this."

"Sure. Return them to me by tomorrow, some are urgent. Don't volunteer for _all _of them." And she was gone.

I half-smiled. Anko always cheered me up, however difficult it was. But now I had to report to someone far more frightening, my superior in what remained of my clan.

And that for all she was only fifteen.


End file.
